


Too Soon ( A season 15 rewrite story)

by Gigiwrites76



Series: The Too Soon series [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Family, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Love, Slow Romance, Spoilers, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:53:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26000707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gigiwrites76/pseuds/Gigiwrites76
Summary: Whatever Mary had never been resurrected? What if the reader was killed by Jack? This is the story that unfolds moments afterShe was taken too soon. Ripped out of the Winchesters lives so suddenly that Dean cant help but turn into a being of grief and rage. His best friend was killed by a person he thought he deemed safe. He was wrong.He was too late.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/You, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Series: The Too Soon series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1887175
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

“Hello Y/N, my name is Jessica.”

The voice was sudden, making you whirl around on the spot, hands reaching for your gun purely out of instinct. Your eyes instantly locked on a lone female before you, eyebrows knotting together in confusion. Just a moment ago you had been talking to Jack.

Now…well now he was nowhere to be seen.

“Forgive me for asking but where the hell did you come from?” You questioned, taking a step closer to the unknown woman.

“I’m a reaper. I’m here to lead you to your next life.”As she said it, you could see a gentle smile slip onto her face, for an instant you swore you caught a hint of sadness or pity hidden within her eyes as well. You took a step back, mind reeling with the answer she had just given you.

“That- that can’t be right. Because if that were true. That would mean- that would mean I’m dead. And I-I can’t be dead.” You stumbled over the words, trying desperately to make sense of what was happening.

No. No you couldn’t be dead. That didn’t make sense.

“I’m sorry. I understand that you’re shock.” Jessica stepped forward, reaching out her hand, waiting patiently for you to take it, clearly prepared to take you through the veil– But you didn’t notice. Your mind was trying to piece together what had happened.

Jack. You had been talking to Jack. He was upset and angry and you had been trying to calm him down. He was yelling, god he was yelling so much- and then there was a blast.

Blast.

“Oh god.” Your hand flew to your mouth as your mind caught up to you. You knew deep down Jack never meant to hurt you, but you also knew he could still be unpredictable at times. You felt the burn of oncoming tears in your eyes as your body sunk the the ground, heels pressing hard into the eye sockets.

Fuck, fuck, fuck-

Your head was spinning at a million miles an hour until it hit a brick wall of one solid thought that towered above all the rest.

Dean. Oh no, Dean didn’t know. Neither did Sam or Cas. A choked sob left your lips as the tears finally spilled over your lashes. That one person repeatedly flashing in your mind. Dean. You had known him practically all your life, and loved him for at least half of it. You always told yourself that one day you would tell him. Except now with your current situation, that was clearly never going to happen.

Dean. Dean with his big green eyes, and freckled splashed face,Dean with his dumb jokes and secretly dorky personality. There were so many things you loved about that man, from the way he laughed to the terrible jokes he cracked and everything in between. His rare but big smile and his even bigger heart. You were never supposed to fall in love with your best friend, but its a difficult thing not to do when that person was Dean.

You flinched slightly when Jessica knelt down in front of you, forgetting the reapers presence.

“Don’t worry. He loved you too, and for a very long time I might add.”

You looked up into Jessica’s eyes, your own slightly glazed with confusion.

“How do you know?” the question leaving your lips in barely a whisper as you fought to ignore the hot tears trekking down your face. Jessica stood up, waiting for you to rise to her level.

“I’ve been watching over you and the Winchester’s for a long time. I pay attention.” She smiled. You nodded, immediately seeing that she was telling the truth. She reached out her hand again.

“Are you ready to go?”

Ready to go? That was such a heavy question. You had never exactly feared death. In truth it was just another beginning, right? You paused, thinking it through. There was nothing else for you to do here. You couldn’t just stride back into the land of the living and back to your life and family. The only option was to take her outstretch hand.

“As long as you promise to do something for me.” You stated firmly, sliding your hand into hers before rising to your feet with a shaky breath.

“Of course. Anything.” She smiled. You nodded again, finally accepting your fate you reached out and took her hand.

*. *. *. *.

Dean knew something was wrong the moment you didn’t pick up your phone. You were the type of person to always answer no matter what. It was a rarity if you didn’t answer. So when the phone went through its cycle of rings eventually getting to your voicemail, he took a deep inhale to calm himself.

“Hello, you have reached the voicemail of Y/N Y/L/N. I’m sorry I didn’t answer your call. I’m just waiting for more important people to call. If I hear your message and deem you worthy or the title “important,” I will think about calling you back, but for now. Bye!”-Beep-

Lowering his phone from his ear, Dean looked down at the screen, your profile picture staring brightly up at him. Your face scrunched as you stuck your tongue out. In any other occasion he probably would have smiled, but instead he just let out a light “Damn it-” before slipping it back into his pocket.

He hated that you had ventured out alone to go find Jack. He should have gone with you. He should have dropped everything and just gone with you. Now you could be in trouble and in need of assistance. What if you were injured …or worse?

The Winchester brothers then proceeded to launch into action the moment they agreed something was not right. They had Rowena going through every page of the Book of the Damned looking for a tracking spell, and Cas was trying to find Jacks last known whereabouts.

“Anything?” Dean huffed, momentarily stopping his continuous pacing to look over at his brother, who was currently hunched over his laptop trying desperately to track Jacks phone. They had tried tracking yours earlier, only to find your phone sitting on one of the vacant tables in the library untouched and almost out of battery . He expected Sam to respond with yet another Nope but was surprised when he heard something else.

“Dean, check this out.” Sam swiveled his laptop around to face him, pointing at Jacks icon.

“Wait- is he flying?” The two brothers watched as the icon pinged to another location, and then another before landing firmly on an empty area in Nebraska. After a minute of no change, Dean was rushing towards the door, wrapping his jacket around him and grabbing the keys to the impala.

Sam knew there was no holding his brother back, especially when it came to your safety. The younger Winchester exhaled before slamming the laptop shut and following the fading heels of his brothers boots.

*. *. *.

Dean had practically been white knuckling the steering wheel since he slipped into the drivers seat. He was silently trying to calm himself down, but it just wasn’t working.

You were fine. You were fine. You were safe and alive and completely out of harms way. You were fine.

“Oh crap.” Sam’s sigh of frustration yanked Deans eyes away from the road.

“What?” His voice thick with worry as he watched his brother flick through his phone.

“I lost Jacks signal. His phone must have died.”

The older Winchester let out a string of curses before slamming his foot harder on the gas. And with that a two hour drive was cut down to a smooth 45 minutes.

Dean immediately made out your car when the slowly pulled to a stop at the end of the old dirt road the gps had sent them down, the vehcile parked alone in front of an old run down cabin. The impala had barely been put into park before the older Winchester was launching himself out of his seat and running foreword, flashlight in hand.

“You go inside, I’ll check around back.”

“Got it.”

It didn’t take long for Dean to find something out of the ordinary, as he stepped through the trees his eyes widened, jade irises filled with confusion and worry. He didn’t have to call for Sam before he heard the loud footsteps running towards him. No words were exchanged as Dean knelt down, running his fingers along the earth, pulling up ash. The light of their flashlights panning over the charred and blackened earth that stretched out for several yards.

Dean needed to find you, and quickly …


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the readers sudden demise, Dean figures out what happened to you.

“Okay, alright we don’t know what happened here.” Dean huffed, stalking across the cabin. His eyes fell on the charred body of Nick, but only for a moment before he tore them away again. He couldn’t take this. He needed to know where you were. His best friend was missing and he had no idea what the next course of action was.

A moment later the slam of the heavy wooden door announced Cas’s arrival, making both brothers turn their heads in unison.

“You got anything on Jack?” Sam questioned, the Angel only shaking his head in defeat.

“Did you find anything?”

Sam looked over at Dean, his brothers back turned towards them as he looked out the cracked glass of the window. He clearly wasn’t coping well that was for sure.

“There’s a blast site around back- it could have been Nick. He was trying to bring Lucifer back.” Sam tried, his eyes still focused on Dean.

“Yeah but Jack said-“ Cas attempted to step in but the older Winchesters anger was being fueled by fear which just made him lash out even more.

“Who cares what Jack said! I swear- I swear if he did something to her…” Dean sucked in a lungful of air, trying to fill his chest as much as he could. “If she is-“ he couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence before he was turning around again. Cas and Sam fell silent. Dean was scared and he had every right to be.

The silence between the three was broken by the shrill ring of a phone going off. Sam dove his hands into his jacket pocket, fishing out his cell.

“Who is it?” Deans voice was thickly laced in panic as he spun around, eyes wide as he waited for a response.

“Rowena.”

Sam pressed his thumb against the screen, Rowena’s voice cutting through the tense atmosphere in the tiny cabin.

“I did what you asked Samuel. I used scrying magic on the boy, tried to find him. But his energy- it’s too unstable.” Rowena sighed, which only made Deans shoulders tense that much more.

“What about Y/N?” Sam questioned, eyes wandering back to his brother. The other end of the line fell eerily silent, which only made the hunters heart beat quicken.

“Just say it Rowena!”

“… I don’t know what happened, or where she is… But I can tell you with certainty; Y/N Y/L/N is no longer on this earth.”

Deans eyes closed shut as he took a deep breathe. This was just a nightmare, all he had to do was wake up. He paid no attention to the tears gathering in his brothers eyes or the pained expression on Cas’s features.

This wasn’t real. It wasn’t. It couldn’t be.

The only sound Dean could hear was the loud drum like rhythm of his heart pounding against his ear drums. That’s when all the pain and anger boiled up and he was picking up the nearest chair and smashing it full force into the wall. When it was nothing but a pile of splinters he sank to the floor. Sam’s voice quaked as he forced himself to hold back tears.

“What do we do now?”

Deans eyes had a fierce blaze to them as he zoned out, yet somehow they were still mixed with grief. “What we always do. We fight. To bring her back.” He stood up, walking back to his brother and Cas. “Rowena. She has the book of the damned. She’s resurrected herself more times than we can count.”

Cas was afraid to speak up but at this point he had no other choice.

“How? We don’t even know where Y/N is.”

“Then go to Heaven and find her!” Dean snapped as he turned to the angel, a fire still burning in his eyes. He then turned to Sam before stalking towards the door. “call Rowena. Tell her we’re on our way.”

And with that he was gone.

*. *. *. *.

“We should have known. Goddammit, we should have known!” Dean yelled, dragging calloused hands down his face.

Ever since they stepped back into the bunker it didn’t feel right. Your absence made everything feel colder. Lifeless even. And the truth was that it was making Dean break even more. All your stuff was still here, but you? You were gone.

…and you might not be coming back.

“We knew Jack was dangerous. We always knew.” Sam urged, leaning forward in his chair. “Long before he killed Michael. You more than anyone. From the very beginning you knew. But we fell for him, Y/N included, because he had a good heart. A good soul.” Sam paused, watching his brother pace across the floor of the library. “He became our family.”

Sam couldn’t tell, but Dean was fighting hard to hold back tears as he shook his head, his mind to occupied with thoughts of you. He didn’t like showing vulnerability around others, even if it was his brother. But the thought of you was making that task difficult. 

You and your dorky smile and contagious laugh, and your innate ability to always tell if something was wrong and be able to fix it. He should have told you years ago how he felt, but he had never been in love before, so how the hell was he supposed to act on it? He didn’t have the first clue. You were the only woman to ever make him fall silent. The only woman to ever make him weak in the knees. The only woman to ever completely capture his heart and make him feel emotions he never had before. You were it for him.

And now he was too late.

“You know, Y/N was always talking about you.” Sam started, pulling Dean back to reality. “ Whenever you weren’t around or just weren’t in the room, she would just smile and talk about old memories and how lucky she was to know you.” Deans eyes drifted back to his brother in confusion.

“What?”

“Yeah, but the real kicker was when you would come back. It was easy to see the change in her demeanor. Her eyes would brighten even more, and she would sit a little straighter. Her smile would grow bigger too.” Sam chuckled, leaning back in the chair. “ she was smitten with you. Hell, even Jack could sense the difference.”

Dean let out a huff, leaning back against the table.” I can’t believe I was so blind. I should have said something a long time ago.” Dean paused, turning his attention towards his palms.” I loved her Sam. God, I loved her more than I thought possible.”

“I know Dean.”

*. *. *. *

Another day had passed before either brother heard anything. It was unexpected when Rowena called again, voice distraught and slightly out of breathe. The only thing she needed to say to get the boys moving was that Jack was planning on bringing you back, and whatever he did- would not end good.

The last place Dean wanted to be right now was back at the cabin. The fucking cabin where he found out the horrible, painful truth. But the grief had been pushed to the back of his mind at the moment. All he felt was anger. White hot anger. As they got closer to the cabin the shutter of the engine pulled Deans thoughts.

“What the hell?” He let go of the steering wheel as the impala puttered to a stop. He shared a look with Sam before jumping out of the car.

“Um…Dean?”

“God, now what Sam?” Dean sighed turning around once more. He followed Sam’s gaze towards the sky above. Black storm clouds formed overhead, a deep purple cracking within it.

It was clear that it was definitely not a natural storm.

It had to be Jack. It was the only possibility. And that was all it took to send Dean running through the undergrowth towards the source, Sam following close behind.

As the brothers rounded the corner of the cabin the storm clouds were gone as quickly as they had come, as they came towards the blast sight Sam’s steps faltered.

“Jack?”

The young nephilim turned toward them, a deep look of worry and guilt flashing in his eyes. Dean wasn’t sure yet if he wanted to kill him or not. All he knew was that he was in pain. It was only a second later though when he glimpsed the form behind Jack, and then his heart plummeted. No. No.

“It didn’t work.” Jack breathed, sharing one last look with them before disappearing.

“No. No. No.” Deans voice was urgent as he rushed forwards toward the still figure on the ground. Sinking to the ashy earth he put an arm around your limp body, pulling you to his chest.

“Y/N, y/n.” He pressed a palm to your face, brushing away the hair from your cheeks, hoping, praying that his voice would bring you back. He could feel the burn of tears forming in his eyes as he looked down at you. You looked so peaceful, almost like you were asleep. But you weren’t. Your skin was cold and your chest was still. There was no life in you.

Dean looked down at you with a smile, eyes taking in every inch of your face. You looked happy even in your sleep. The rumble of the impalas engine had a way of putting you to sleep, and this time you had fallen asleep on his shoulder, every once in awhile nestling deeper into his jacket. He wished you could look this happy all the time. That he could be the one to make you happy. Maybe one day. One day.

Dean held back his tears as he pulled you further into his arms, trying desperately to not let the tears to spill over, because he knew that if they did, they wouldn’t stop. Sam knelt down besides him, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away from you. He was afraid that if he did you might disappear and he couldn’t risk that.

“Y/N please. Please.” He mumbled, closing his eyes and pressing his lips against your hairline.

*. *. *.

Dean had built more pyers in his lifetime than he cared to admit, but this one–this one was by far the hardest he had ever had to build. Even with the help of Sam and Cas it felt like he was moving through cement. It was almost too much for him to take.

But the worst part came when he knelt besides your body, willing every muscle in his own to move as he wrapped you gently and carefully in a sheet. He had to stop several time to take a breath. Steady himself in the sea of grief he found himself in. The waters continuously rising.

Sam offered to help carry you to the pyre but Dean insisted on doing it alone, an excuse to just be as close to you as possible before the flames took you from him. His beautiful Y/N, reduce to nothing but ash and smoke. The thoughts made his insides turn.

As the trio stood before pyre, matches in hand, Dean dug into his pocket, pulling out a single photograph. The edges were worn and it had slightly lost it color but that didn’t matter. He had an extra tucked safely away in the impala.

Within the photograph was a smiling portrait of you. Your eyes were wrinkled shut as a bright grin took up your features. It had been windy on the day it was taken, your hair blowing about your face, the sun splitting through it and almost giving it a golden like outline. Your head was tilted slightly down, presumably laughing at something Dean had said. It was a good picture. Probably his favorite of you.

Dean stepped forward, placing the picture on the pyre.

“See you on the other side Sweetheart.”

And with that, the matches where lit and thrown forth, bringing the flames skyward to wrap around your body.

*. *. *. *

It had been two days since they burned your body and Dean hadn’t slept a wink. He spent the nights wandering the halls of the bunker, occasionally stopping in front of your bedroom door and pausing. He never went in though, because he knew that if he did it would still seem like you were there. Your bed would still be unmade and your desk would still be full of nick-nacks. Your laundry would still be piled up in a basket in the corner. Even the smallest things made Deans heart sink.

Now the older Winchester sat in the war room, watching as Sam pulled the phone away from his ear, hanging up with Rowena.

“What did she say?”

Sam’s eyes grew sad as he looked over at his brother, who was currently sporting bags under his own eyes and an emotionless expression

“She said what Jack brought back was um- was just a husk. Incapable of holding life were her exact words.”

Deans stomach turned again as his nails gripped into the arms of the chair.

Incapable of holding life

That should have never been a way of describing you. Not his Y/N who was always filled with life and laughter even on the darker days. You were always moving. Always thriving. You used to dance around the bunker in your pajamas and sing terribly off key to Boston. That was you. You weren’t a husk.

Incapable of holding life

“I’m gonna go out on a beer run.” Dean stated quickly. Pushing himself up from his chair The hunter quietly slid on his jacket and made his way up the stairs before anyone could stop him, disappearing into the dark.

If anyone had followed him, he knew that they would be able to tell he had been lying. He didn’t move toward the impala. Instead he trekked his way through the trees surrounding the bunker. He didn’t make it far before sinking down to sit on an old fallen tree.

It was there, in the dark and in the cold December air that Dean Winchester let himself break. He sucked in a breath through his teeth before letting the sobs come. Tears flowed hot and steady down his face as his shoulders shook violently.

Dean could take a lot of things, but this? This was something that he had never felt before. There was no point in praying. Chuck was gone. The angels might as well be. For the first time in a very long time, Dean Winchester felt well and truly alone.

Time melted away as he sat there, letting the tears flow freely and the sobs grow louder. Grief sunk it’s hooks deep into him, and it did not let go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader finds a way to get a message to her family, and Dean deals with the loss of her.

You forgot how realistic heaven could be. How it could almost perfectly mirror your life before it had all abruptly ended in a flash of white light. It wasn’t your first time here. You were a hunter after all. You had to be resurrected at least once to have earned the title.

You were currently leaning against the hood of the impala, watching the stars twinkle across the black canvas above you. Behind you, the muffled voices of Sam and Dean attempting to explain the plot of Star Wars to Jack could be heard. You smiled to yourself, taking a sip of your beer.

Even though it all felt real, you knew it wasn’t. They weren’t your Sam and Dean. These, these were just mirages, stand ins until they could really be here. This would do for the time being, and you were okay with that.

A light flutter from behind you had your head suddenly spinning around at lightning speed, eyes landing on the beige color of a very distinct trench coat. Before you could even utter the Angels name, he was quickly rushing forward, an almost relieved look on his face.

“Y/N!” You were mildly caught off guard by Cas as he pulled you into a bone crushing hug. Sometimes you forgot about the amount of strength the angel held within him.

You wrapped your arms around him, taking in the warmth and comfort of your dear friend. “Hey, Cas.” Resting your chin on his shoulder, you knew full well he was somehow blaming himself for you being here at all. “ It’s alright. I’m alright.”

He pulled back, going to grip your hands in his. “ I’m so sorry Y/N, if I had known-“ you stopped him, firmly slapping a hand over his mouth.

“Don’t Cas. None of us could have known.” As your eyes bore into his you could see the sadness and guilt that filled them, and it made your heart break. “ I don’t want any of you blaming yourselves for what happened to me. Do you understand?”

The Angel cast his face towards the ground, trying to accept it.

“It was my fault anyway.” You muttered, taking a step back from your friend. At that his head snapped back up to look at you, his brows knitted together in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

You shrugged your shoulders, slipping your hands into your coat pockets. “Jack was upset. I was trying to calm him down, trying to get him to talk to me- but I pushed too much and he- he just snapped. He didn’t mean to Cas.”

Even with the explanation Castiel still looked confused, like his mind was still trying to comprehend it- piece it all together.

“Why are you here anyways? I thought you were kind of on Heavens no fly list- no offense.” You smiled.

“When Dean-“ Cas started, but stopped to correct himself. “ when we found out that you were- were dead, Dean got furious. He was scared and confused but he told me to come here. To find you.” You nodded, understanding that Dean would of course lash out. He was blaming himself again.

“I had to convince Dumah to let me through, it took awhile, but as you can see, I succeeded.” The Angel shrugged, a proud smile on his face.

You lightly chuckled, “ well of course, if anyone could do that it would be you. You did annoy a cosmic entity so much that it brought you back to life.”

“I need to get back to them though- Sam and Dean, they need to know what happened.”

“I understand.” You nodded, smiling up at the Angel. As you did something passed through your mind, making you push yourself up from your spot leaning against the impala. “Before you go I need to give you something.” Quickly walking around the side of the impala, you leaned through the passenger side window, popping open the glove box. It took a moment but you managed to fish out four separate envelopes. A different name written on the front of each one.

Standing back up, you walked back to Cas, extending your hand. “ When I first got here I wrote letters to each of you. There were a lot of things I never got to say to you guys. Things I still need to explain.”

Cas took them gently from your grasp, looking down at one name in particular.

Dean.

Pushing the envelopes into his coat pocket he look over into your eyes again. “Dean hasn’t been the same since you died. I mean, none of us have. But the only time I have ever seen him like this was when Sam died.”

“Which time?” You joked, a smirk crawling across your face. Cas shot you a look, making you look at the ground. “ sorry.”

Cas stepped forward pulling you into one last hug. “ we all miss you so much. I’m glad you are happy though.” He muttered, chin resting atop your head. A moment later the two of your parted, Cas turning to leave.

“Cas! If you find Jack- when you find Jack I mean, tell him I forgive him. I’m not mad at him.” You smiled sadly, Cas shared the same expression as he nodded. And with that he was gone as quickly as he had came. Leaving you standing there in the warm summer night air.

“ I thought he’d never leave.”

The new voice made you jump, almost dropping your beer. You spun on your heel, almost colliding with the tall, dark figure in front of you.

“Jessica told me you wanted to talk. Plus, I need to talk to you anyways.” You looked into the horseman’s eyes and let out a breath.

“Billie.”

*. *. *. *.

Hours later, Dean walked back into the bunker, skin thoroughly chilled and eyes red and puffy from the crying. Yet his expression was stoic. The minute he was around other people the walls went back up and they didn’t go down again until he was alone once more. Showing his feelings had never been his strong suit, and that probably wouldn’t change for awhile.

As he worked his way down the bunker steps he could see his brother sitting quietly at the war room table, his eyes glazed over, deep in thought.

“Sam.” Deans voice knocking him back into reality. “ you’re zoning again.”

Sam shook his head, trying to clear it. A hand going up to rub at his eyes. “Sorry. I thought you went out for a supply run?” He questioned, turning his chair slightly.

Shrugging off his jacket, Dean threw it onto a vacant chair. “ Yeah, well I lied.” Sinking down into the chair across from his brother, Dean leaned back, running a hand though his hair. Sam nodded, knowing he didn’t want to go into detail about where he had been.

Silence lay heavily over the two brothers for a few minutes, the only sound being the soft hum of the electricity. It was so quiet, Dean could have sworn he could hear the blood rushing through his veins.

The silence was broken with the loud groan of the bunker door creaking open and then slamming shut. The sound of shoes hitting the metal stairs echoed through the bunker before the flash of a trench coat was seen out of the corner of Deans eye.

“Where the hell have you been?” Dean mumbled, swiveling in his chair to look over at the Angel.

Cas’s shoulders fell, his head tilting to the side in annoyance. “ I went to Heaven. Like You asked.” His voice laced with a certain sternness. As the sentence left his mouth, Dean sat up a little straighter in his chair, leaning forwards.

“And?”

“And Y/N is there. She’s happy. Happy as she can be at least. Her Heaven is full of memories of us.” Cas continued, taking a couple steps closer to the table. Dean nodded, a small look of relief on his face, and the faintest flicker of a smile.

Cas reached into the inner pocket of his trench coat, pulling out the envelopes you had given him. “ She told me to give these to you guys. There’s one for each of us…Including Jack.”

Deans eyebrows raised as he pushed himself out of his chair, taking the envelope Cas was handing him. His name scrawled neatly across the center in what could only be your handwriting. His hands were shaking as he took it. Cas passed Sams across the table towards him before tucking Jacks safely back into his pocket.

Dean had no idea what he was going to find when he ripped it open, but he knew he wanted to do this alone. He needed to be alone for this.

“I’m gonna- I’m gonna go.” Never taking his eyes of the envelope, Dean walked away, turning down one of the many hallways of the bunker.

He lost track of how long he had been wandering before he found himself in front of your door again. He probably stood there for a good solid minute before hesitantly reaching out and turning the knob.

As he flicked the switch he let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. It all still looked the same. The salt lamp in the corner of your room flowed softly, making the space seem warmer than it actually was. Your favorite flannel hung limply from the chair in front of your desk, which was littered with books and journals. Your lucky coffee mug was perched on top of a pile of old maps, undoubtedly leaving some sort of ring underneath it. He took another breath, feeling his shoulders relax. It even smelled like you were still here. Vanilla and chai and some thing distinctly you.

He couldn’t bring himself to sit on your bed, so instead the older Winchester slid to the floor, resting his back against the side of the mattress. With shaky fingers, he tore the seal of the envelope, pulling out a folded piece of paper. He took his time unfolding it, scared of what he might find. Once his eyes found the words, there was no going back.

Dean Winchester, god I don’t even know where to start. I’ve got so much to say, to cover. I’ve known you for almost all of my life, practically grown up with you. I think that’s why I’m struggling to write this so much. I have a lot of years to cover. But I think I need to go back to the start, to before I met you, and Sam- and your dad.

Like you I grew up in the hunting life, my parents were cold and harsh and I saw them as the same breed of monsters we kill every other week. But you already knew that. I never really had a childhood, but then again what hunter does?

A breath escaped his lips as he steadied himself. Hunters kids were never truly kids. Your childhoods had been messed up but the minute the two of you became friends, life was just a tiny bit brighter.

Feelings. God, for so much of my “childhood” I forgot what those even were. If you want to survive living with monsters, you have to learn to shut off your emotions or it will only hurt more. And then when I was 13 you and your brother came into my life, just by pure accident. But for the first time in a long time- I started to feel things again. I finally had people, friends that understood. My life was better off from the moment you stepped into it, with your dorky grin and big green eyes. I started to feel happy again. The minute I turned 18 I was packing my bags and ditching the monsters that had failed to raise me and leaving with you and your brother and dad. It was the greatest decision I ever made.I never looked back after that.

Dean paused, running a hand down his face to stop the tears. Your words were hitting him hard, like a solid fist to the face.

But I guess lately I’ve been feeling like your distancing yourself from me, pulling away. I can understand that though, you haven’t exactly been the same since Michael possessed you. And I’m sorry I couldn’t do more to help you. I just wish things could have gone back to how they were before it all happened. I miss going on drives and singing terribly off key to Zepplin, teaching Jack and Cas how to play those dumb board games, I miss watching Westerns with you late at night until we both doze off. 

Dean took another deep breath, taking the words in and preparing himself for the last few paragraphs of the letter. You true final words scrawled out on paper.

But I known that’s naive. Change is a part of life, and me being gone is just another piece of change your going to have to deal with. I know your going to break, but for the sake of me, keep moving forward. Keep hunting, keep saving people.

Keep living.

When I first got to heaven I sat down and wrote these out. I should have told you years ago that I loved you. That my heart was only ever yours. Nobody else’s. But fear got the best of me and I pushed it down and left it there.I didnt want to lose my best friend… And then someone told me, hell we might as well call them an old friend told me that that love I had been harboring for so long was reciprocated. Don’t be so shocked, apparently everyone (except us) could see it as clear as day.

He closed his eyes momentarily, attempted to keep the tears from spilling out, inhaling deeply he let his eyes eat up the last words.

I’m trying to think of a way to end this but I’m having immense difficulty. Don’t think this is a goodbye though, this is a thank you. Thank you for coming into my life and giving me happiness and adventure. Thank you for loving me. And most importantly thank you for giving me memories that I will cherish forever. You gave me a life Dee, you gave me a home.

Thank you. With Love, y/n.

As his eyes finished their trek across the paper, Dean let out a breath, sinking back a bit farther. His heart was thumping against his rib cage as he tried to catch his breath. He didn’t care anymore about the tears falling down his face, all he cared about was you. You had had feelings for him and somehow he never picked up on it, even when he had the same exact emotions. God, he was such an idiot. He allowed his head to fall back onto the mattress as his fingers tightened around the piece of paper in his hand.

Once again he was too late.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader has a conversation with Billie, and God steps onto the playing field.

The horseman stood before you, draped in black as she gently gripped the massive scythe that stood upright next to her. She was silent and held herself steadily as she took a step forward. The perfect depiction of Death.

Your breath came out shaky as your eyes connected with hers, a fierce, cosmic glare held within her dark irises. You never actually expected her to show up.

“I wish I could say I was surprised to see you up here. But we both know that would be a lie.” Even her voice held power, and that made the hair on your body stand on end. Even if you were dead, the reaper before you scared the living daylights out of you.

“I didn’t expect you to actually come see me.” You answered, crossing your arms as you looked deeper into the eyes of Death.

Billie flexed her fingers, moving slightly so she could pull up her gloves. “ you think I came because you called?”

You paused, slightly taken back by her words. Yeah, you did actually think she showed because you asked to see her. Now you just felt stupid. “Pfff, no. I- I didn’t think that.”

“Good.” Tipping her head in a half nod. You could see that Billie was not here to play games. Then again, when was she ever?

“So how can I help you on this fine night?” You exhaled, leaning back against the side of Baby and slipping your hands into your pockets.

“I wasn’t going to come. I know you wanted to see me but I don’t do house calls.” She sighed before turning her back to you, tilting her head towards the star scattered skies. “ but things are unfolding down on earth. And it became a priority of mine to see you.”

Your eyebrows knitted together as you leaned forward in interest. “What are you talking about?”

Billie didn’t hold back with the next words that came out of her mouth. “ God has stepped onto the playing field. And the entire universe has been thrown off balance because of it.”

Your eyes widened in shock as you sucked in another breath.” What happened?”

“Chucks been messing with those boys of yours. And they finally put it together. He wasn’t very happy.” She finished, raising her eyebrows at you. “ He opened every gate in hell. And now- all those Things that you all sent down there are back on earth.”

Your heart was racing faster than you thought possible, mind filling with worry over if your boys were alright. If Dean was alright. No- this was not the time to be crying. Inhaling deeply, you forced the tears back in and looked into Deaths eyes, a fire blazing in your own. “ and what do you want me to do about it?”

A small smile crept across the grim reapers face. “ If the Winchester’s are going to win this fight, they are going to need every last piece on the chess board.” Billie took a step forward, staring down at you. “ I’m sending you back. Alive and kicking.”

*. *. *.

How did things go this far south? You had been dead for almost a month and a half and somehow in that time frame Dean had found himself here. Towering over Jack, Equalizer in hand as he pointed the barrel at the nephilims head. He had to do this. Jack was the one who had taken your life. He was the reason you were gone and never coming back.

But…on the plus side, if he did pull the trigger he would die too. He would get to see you again. Just one pull. That’s all it would take. Dean pushed back the hammer, ignoring the yells of his brother who was running through the cemetery, desperately screaming at him to stop .

“Dean, Don’t.” The skid of shoes on gravel announced Sams arrival, Cas standing besides him. Chuck made his presence known with a satisfied sigh.

It was in those few moments that Deans mind flickered back to you. You wouldn’t want him doing this. This would break your heart. No- this wasn’t right. Moving his thumb again, he pushed the hammer back up, lower the gun before tossing it to the ground.

“No! No! Pick up the gun! Dean, pick up the gun and shoot him!” Chuck stepped forward angerly, gesturing towards the gun. Confused, Deans eyebrows furrowed as he turned to look down at God.

“What?”

“Guys, come on! This? This is legendary! This is Abraham and Isaac! The father killing his own son!” Chuck waved his arms around in excitement, a wild look in his brown eyes.

“Screw you. We are not killing him.” Sam voice was loud as the anger built up. Chucks face fell as he looked at the four before him. No more games. And then things started moving quicker. Sam was diving across the ground, cocking the Equalizer and aiming at God. He fired, striking him in the shoulder.

“ Alright.” Chuck stumbled backwards, gripping his shoulder. With a wave of his hand Jack fell to the ground, eyes burning white. “ Story’s over. Welcome to the End.” And just like a switch being flicked he was gone, taking the sunlight with him.

*. *. *.

“ sending me back?”

“ Yes. But don’t think your getting off easy. This is a one time thing.” Billies voice stern as she gazed into you. “ and when everything is finished. When God has been removed permanently, You are coming right back here. No matter the outcome .Good or bad.” She finished.

You nodded, understanding that Billie was someone who didn’t just break the rules. This was serious. “ Understood, but, if you don’t mind me asking, why are you siding with us?” You moved forward, crossing your arms.

“ I have never liked “Chuck”. He’s always been messing with the natural order. With fate. And me? Well I try to keep things as balanced as I can. Gods been messing with things he shouldn’t be and it’s time his shenanigans came to a stop. Put him six feet under and I’ll be happy.” There it was again, the raw power in her voice. You had no choice but to admire her. Death was a force to be reckoned with.

“Alright then, no need to keep the gang waiting.” You smiled, unfolding your arms. Without much of a warning, Billie pulled off a glove, reaching out and tapping a finger to your forehead. With a jolt you flew backwards, slamming onto the ground and everything went black.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean tries to honor the readers wishes and Death throws a curveball.

The cool night air nipped at your face as you blinked yourself slowly into consciousness. Through blurry eyelids you could see the faint silhouette of branches arching over you, distant stars peeking through the blank spaces. Inhaling deeply, you let out a groan before attempting to sit up. The back of your shirt was moist from the dew on the grass but that was the last thing on your mind.

You could immediately tell that you were no longer in the sweet hereafter. Because for one, there were no graveyards in the great beyond, and two, the air was filled with the stench of rotting flesh and dried blood. It was foul and it had you wrinkling your nose in disgust.

In a sudden attempt to get up, you used your hands to help push you off the ground, unfortunately both your legs gave out, accompanied by a wave of dizziness that sent you back onto your butt. Apparently being brought back to life had some side affects.

You let your body adjust for another minute, allowing yourself to better assess where the hell you were. It was definitely a cemetery, but there was something seriously wrong here. Headstones were broken, massive holes were everywhere…but the most unsettling thing were the corpses. They littered the ground for as far as you could see.

Pushing yourself up again, and this time succeeding, you spun on your heel, taking in the entirety of your surroundings. You mind quickly piecing together the only possible explanation. These corpses had crawled their way out of their resting places. Billie was right. God was angry.

As you turned again, something ahead of you caught your eye. A particular mass of bodies piled together near an old stone fountain. Maneuvering your way through the maze of headstones and corpses you finally reached it. You tilted your head as a flash of beige fabric caught your eye. Kneeling down, you freed the cloth from a pale grey hand. Cas’s trench coat. Cas has been here, and if Cas was here, the brothers were too.

Growing up a hunter gave you a keen sense of sight when it came to seeing things others wouldn’t notice at first. And the first thing your y/e/c eyes caught was the trail of bodies leading towards a structure perched at the end the of the cemetery. A mausoleum.

Your eyes quickly found an old rusted bar discarded at the edge of the fountain, and you didn’t hesitate to wrap your fingers around it, claiming it as your only way of self defense.Quickly and quietly, you crept across the grounds of the cemetery, a thick fog swelling around your ankles. The mausoleum would be the first place they would go to for safety in an event like this.

When reaching the doors you could see the scatted marks of where nails had been scratching in a desperate attempt to get in. Hesitantly you reached forward with a free hand, tracing a set of particularly deep scratches. As you did, the pressure eased the door open in a slow, haunting groan. You silently cursed before allowing the full pressure of your hand to push the door open.

Your legs were moving before your mind was and you quickly found yourself rushing down the stone steps and into the cold and hollow space. You cursed again, throwing the bar across the room.

Empty.

You weren’t sure whether you should be relieved or angry. Either they had escaped or something had taken them. But either way, you knew that you had to find them. You had to find Dean.

*. *. *. *.

“She’s dead.”

Deans voice was laced with both anger and annoyance as he spun around quickly, eyes glaring into both Ketch and Rowena. He knew they would ask the question at some point. Ask where you were, but the moment it left their lips all the anger and grief inside him bubbled to the surface again.

Sam and Cas had fallen into an uncomfortable silence when the question was asked. The two sharing an uneasy look, knowing full well Dean was not going to take it well.

Taken back with shock, Ketch widened his eyes. Rowena of course knew, but Ketch had not expected to hear that. Let alone from Dean Winchesters lips. Anyone could see how much you had meant to him. What he felt for you.

Rowenas face fell once more as she took in Dean. “ I’m so sorry my dear.” But Dean wasn’t having it and so in return the witch received a death glare, daring her to speak again. He shot the same look at Ketch just for good measure before turning and storming out the door.

“Not to be rude, but how did she die?” Ketch’s head turning to the younger Winchester. Sam’s adams apple bobbed as he swallowed, looking down at the table. Your death was still fresh in their minds. Bringing it up never ended well.

“Jack- he um, he lashed out and she was a casualty because of it.”

“Jack? And he’s—“

This time it was Cas who spoke up, pulling his hands out of the pockets of his coat.” He’s dead too.”

Another wave of silence settled over those in the room. Maybe this wasn’t the best topic right now.

Meanwhile Dean sat alone, elbows resting against his knees as he leaned forward on a bench in the hallway, deep in thought. Life had gotten so much more complicated in these past few hours and he had no idea how to handle it. If you were here you would already be planning the next seven steps. God, that was all he wanted in that moment. You sitting next to him, probably armed with a dumb joke or pun to get him to smile. But at the same time a part of him was relived you weren’t here. You were safe from danger. You were in heaven, happy and at peace.

*. *. *. *.

You probably would have gotten farther down the road headed towards the nearest town if you hadn’t have been hit with another wave of dizziness. One minute you were fine and the next you were falling down on the side of the road, the asphalt tearing the palms of your hands as you reached out to catch yourself.

“Oh yeah, I’ll just throw you back to earth no problem.” You mumbled, rolling your eyes and silently cursing Billie. She could have at least warned you of the dumb side affects of being thrown back into the world of the living. Wiping your hands on your jeans, you stood back up.

Up ahead something suddenly caught your eye, making your footsteps quicken. An old ford pickup sat idle on the side of the road, doors flung wide open but vacant of a driver or passenger. As you reached it you could see the windshield had been shattered and blood had soaked through the seats. Something was seriously wrong here.

Ducking into the drivers side, you looked for a set of keys or any sort of evidence that could at least tell you where you were. But no such luck.

It’s like your senses had been thrown out of wack since you woke up here, because you didn’t notice the figure rushing at you from behind. It was only brought to your attention when you felt yourself being yanked back harshly by your hair. Your body slammed into the pavement with a loud thud, making you yell out.

You should have kept the dumb metal bar because now you had no way of defending yourself except with your hands- and your head. Without warning you threw your head forward, slamming it into your attackers. You forgot about fingers gripping into your hair and as you moved forward you felt chunks of it being pulled out by the roots. Another scream being torn from your throat.

Rolling into a standing position you got your first good look at your attacker, and it definitely wasn’t human. And it wasn’t alive either.

The corpse standing in front of you had skin that matched the tone of gathering storm clouds, dark rings of purple surrounded her eyes as she stalked towards you. The only word that came to mind ( which made you sound like an idiot) was zombie.

You exhaled, stepping backwards. Why couldn’t anything go easy for you? You let out a sigh. Your hunter mentality clicked into place once again, and you found yourself falling back into the drivers seat. You let the thing advance again. Waiting for the right moment, you slammed the door shut, it’s head unfortunately being caught in the threshold. Just for good measure you opened the door again, slamming it into the head of the creature a few more times before letting its body successfully fall to the pavement.

You probably walked a good quarter mile after that, suddenly being forced to a stop when a small car squealed to a stop in front of you. The silhouette of the driver leaned over the passenger side, swinging the door open for you.

“Get in.”

Your eyes wandered down the empty stretch of road, looking for what, You didn’t know. You chose to slide into the passenger seat, but kept your guard up. You looked over at the stranger, curious as to why he was out here in the first place. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” Putting the car into drive, your rescuer slammed his foot on the gas, peeling off towards the direction you had been heading..

As the trees blurred passed in one big green smear, you let your heartbeat slow for the first time in what felt like hours. “Where are you taking me?” You breathed, reaching to brush a stand of hair away from your eyes.

“There’s a high school up ahead where everyone is staying. The FBI has us staying there until they fix the gas leak.” The driver sighed, adjusting his grip on the steering wheel.

You froze up. The FBI? That had to be Sam, Dean, and Cas. It had to. They were here. Your family was nearby. “Gas leak, right. Why were you out?” You questioned, trying to act like you knew what was going on.

“A friend of mine went out last night. Never came back. I was looking for her.”

“Oh.” Your mind drifting from his answer as he pulled into the parking lot of the high school. As he cut the engine you slid out of the seat, stepping into the sunlight. The parking lot was filled with cars but only one caught your attention. A mat black, 67 Chevy impala sat vacant in the spot next to you, the sun reflecting off the hood perfectly to make it shine more than it usually did.

He was here. He was here.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader finds herself back on earth, and Dean feels like hes being haunted.

The last rays of dying light split through the windows of the school, basking the halls in an almost orange glow. The air was still, almost like the earth itself was holding its breath, waiting for the next pin to drop.

You stood frozen in front of the double doors. They were here. Your family was somewhere within the walls of this building. Dean was here. And for some odd reason it had you struggling to step through the threshold.

What would they think when they saw you? What would you say? You had no clue how to approach this properly. Resurrection was a tricky topic to handle. The man who had helped you had long since walked through the doors, probably going in search of his family… Just like you were about to do.

Taking a deep breath you swung the door open, stepping into the cool air conditioning of the school. You turned your head, unsure which way to venture. At the sound of voices coming from your right your body went rigid. The Scottish accent was easy to identify as was English one.

Ketch and Rowena. You were surprised that they were here at all. Sucking in a breath you found yourself racing in the opposite direction, nerves getting the best of you. You let the halls lead you deeper into the school before you stopped, the voices long gone. You couldn’t see them, not yet.

As you passed a display case, your reflection caught the corner of your eye, slightly making you jump. You looked terrible. Your hair was in complete disarray, some locks ending a few inches too short and you were also sporting a busted lip and what seemed to be the beginnings of a black eye. That creature had gotten in a few good licks before you killed it, and apparently the man who had helped you get to the school was to chicken to ask what had happened.

Your eyes scanned the vacant hallway you resided in, looking for a certain tool to help you with your hair predicament. You finally glancing over to a pair of scissors that sat lonesome on a teachers desk. Striding through the door of the classroom you quickly snatched the scissors off the desk, a slight twinkle in your eye.

These would work just fine.

*. *. *. *.

It was just a flash of y/h/c hair that had Deans head snapping away from what he was focused on. Emphasis on was. Just a quick flash. That’s all it was as it went past one of the front windows facing the parking lot. The sunlight bringing on the streaks and smears on the window.

Dean quickly shook his head, trying to dismiss the thought. You were gone. Gone like Kevin and Charlie and all those before them… Yet he kept seeing pieces of you everywhere he looked. In the tone of someone’s voice, in the music that played through the speakers in the impala. It had now gotten to the point in which he was being thrown off by shades of hair.

The hunter quickly turned back to the bulletin board he was currently working on as he heard the footsteps of Cas echo down the hallway towards him.

“Dean.” Cas stepped into the room, taking his hands out of his pockets as he looked over to his friend.

Trying to busy himself, Dean pushed another tack into the board, not interested in turning around. “What is it Cas?”

There was a pause from the Angel as he registered his friends tone. “ you’re angry.” He stated, taking another step forward.

“Yeah I am angry. At everything. At all of it.” Dean scowled, jamming another pin into the board. “We were conned and it turns out everything we did was already mapped out for us.” Dean paused, feeling his eyes burn. “ everything we lost- everything that we are is because of Chuck!”

Cas wouldn’t say it out loud but he could see Dean breaking. He was thinking of you again. He always was. “Dean, Y/N-“ Cas attempted, but was shut down by the green eyed hunter.

“Don’t Y/N me! Y/N is gone and- maybe you can stick your head in the sand and just pass over her, but I can’t!” Dean whipped around, glaring at Cas with a fierce anger. “Because of Him, because of God, I’m now questioning wether if me loving her was ever really my choice. Was it her choice?” At this point his voice was booming, probably startling the few people wandering the halls. “Why did He have to kill her?” Deans voice mellowing out to almost a whisper, this time letting the tears pool in his eyes.

“I don’t know. Writers have a way of hurting people.” Cas dropped his shoulders sadly, watching Dean with even more sorrow in his eyes.

Dean nodded, sucking in air as he turned back around, rolling a thumbtack in his fingers. Thinking about you being killed just to keep Chuck amused broke his heart. Your death held no real meaning besides doing it just to fracture and break the group. The family. And that, well that just made him fume.

*. *. *. *.

Your hair was definitely shorter, then again you had to cut it to match the shorter locks that had been severed in your tangle with the walking corpse. You tilted your head, smiling as the wisps of loose hair tickled the sides of your face. You should have done this years ago, hunting would have been so much easier if there was less hair to grab on to.

After washing what blood you could off your face, you turned, pushing open the door of the women’s bathroom you resided in and stepping out into the vacant hallway. You almost let out a yelp as you slammed into another figure, not quite paying attention. The figure let out a gasp, clearly surprised as well by the action.

“I’m so sorry! I should have been paying attention.” You hurried, placing a hand over your heart to steady it. The woman you had bumped into looked up, shaking her head.

“Oh it’s quite alright. I should have been the one looking where I was going. These things can be quite the distraction.” She waved her phone with a sigh before tucking it into her coat pocket. You know she didn’t mean to stare but you could see her eyes crossing over your face, taking in the black eye and cracked lip.

“Oh this? I tripped and fell in the parking lot earlier.” You lied, a very fake smile plastered on your face. “I’m quite the klutz.” You chuckled, praying she would believe the ridiculous lie.

“Oh!” A relieved sigh left her lips as her shoulders relaxed. Stepping out of the way of the bathroom door she was probably headed for before she smacked into you, you quickly swiveled your head to ask a question.

“Hey, would you happen to know where I could find the FBI agents helping here? I just need to ask them a few questions.” There it was again, another lie. The woman smiled before nodding her head.

“I think they’re held up in the teachers lounge. Just down the hallway. Take a left and then take the second right you see.”

“Thank you.” And with that you set off down the hallway in search of the only family you had ever truly known.

Taking the simple directions that the woman had given you, you practically darted down the hallways, the sounds of the soles of your shoes slapping against the linoleum tiles echoing off the walls.

You only slowed when you heard a set of voices flowing through one of the open doors up ahead. Your footsteps faltered as you tired to make out the voices. It took only a second to realize one of them was Deans. His voice loud enough to be considered yelling as he talked over the other voice in the room, which was trying to calm him down. Cas. It had to be Cas.

You could so easily run in there. Run in and stop them from whatever they were arguing about. But you didn’t. You stood frozen in empty hallway, debating what to do. Instead of following your heart straight into that room, you silently crept towards the door, pressing your back against the wall next to the door frame.

“Cas, Because of Him, because of God, I’m now questioning whether if me loving her was ever really my choice. Was it her choice?” Dean snapped, his voice cracking slightly as it echoed out the door. His words instantly making your blood run cold. You could almost hear the blood rushing through your ears as your whole world went quiet.

Was Dean questioning whether he really loved you at all? Did he think it was all fake? You could feel your legs turning to jelly, as another wave of dizziness washed over you. You had to force yourself up to keep from sliding down the wall. You had to get out of here. What would he do if he saw you? What would you do if you saw him?

Too afraid of the answer, you sucked in a breath- and you ran. Not paying notice to the loud echo of your boots hitting the floor as you bolted towards the nearest exit sign.

You had to get out of here. Billie had made a mistake- a terrible mistake by bringing you back.

*. *. *. *.

With the anger and grief Dean was harboring he could have gone on yelling for hours, but he was stopped short by the noise outside the room he and Cas resided in. Both his and the Angels heads whipping around to look out into the hallway.

“What the hell?” Dropping his thumbtack back into the container on the desk, he ventured forward, Cas following close behind him.

Stepping into the dimly lit corridor he spun on his heel, looking both directions. The only thing catching his attention was the heel of someone’s boot as they disappeared down another hallway. Other than that it was empty.

“Someone probably just got lost looking for the bathroom.” Dean shrugged, trying to convince himself that he wasn’t seeing You. With that he turned, walking back into the room, leaving Cas to look down the hallway, his blue eyes squinting together in confusion. He stayed for another moment, clearly lost in thought before following the hunter back into the teachers lounge.

It was probably nothing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader struggles with some news, and Dean hears whispers of an unknown woman in town.

You easily could have taken the easy route and just booked it into the woods behind the school, but instead your feet had guided you back to the parking lot. Why, why were you back here?

The final rays of sunlight were splitting through the tree line as if they were giving a last hurrah before letting darkness settle over the landscape. It was getting colder, a slight breeze picking up and sending the first fallen leaves of the year dancing across the pavement. You shivered, rubbing your hands across your biceps in a failed attempt to warm up.

A sudden thought popped into your head making you smile. Checking to make sure the parking lot was empty of people, you weaved through the collection of cars, headed towards a certain one in particular.

For as long as you could remember you had kept an extra flannel folded and tucked away in the impala in case you ever needed a clean one, or forgot to pack one in general. You prayed it was still in there.

You kept low as you walked around the car, padding your pockets and praying Billie had sent you down here with your key-chain. You let out a sigh of relief as your fingers hooked around the object in your pant pocket.

Dean had gifted you the extra set of keys years ago as a sign of how much he trusted you. If he could trust you with Baby he could trust you with anything. But it wasn’t like he let you drive or anything. Dean was the sole driver of Baby, everyone knew that. He always said that if anything ever happened to him, he wanted you to have her. You always argued, saying Sam should have the car, but Dean always countered with the fact that Sam would mess her up.

You let yourself get lost in the memory as you rolled the key-chains in your hand. There were exactly four of them. One for each member of your family. A set of wings for Cas, a dog for Sam, a little light-saber for Jack, and a cowboy boot for Dean.

Checking once more to make sure you were the only person in the parking lot, you squatted down, placing the key in the drivers side door and listening to the oh so familiar click of the door being unlocked. Easing the door open slowly, you ducked your head into the car, eyes scanning for your flannel. It was usually tucked away in the back underneath the rear window, but you were surprised to find it neatly folded and sitting in the center of the front seat.

Your eyebrows knitted together as you leaned over, plucking it off the leather seat. Weird. You quickly threw it on, pulling your arms through the sleeves. It somehow still smelled like your peach body wash and coconut lotion, which was definitely surprising, seeing as it had been sitting in the impala.

*. *. *. *.

Dean tugged on his jacket, reaching for the keys to Baby which lay idle on the table next to him.

“Sam, you ready to head back out?” His voice bouncing off the walls as he called across the hall for his brother. Sam shouted a response before appearing in the threshold, a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. “ you got the rock salt?”

“When do I ever forget the rock salt Dean?” Sam breathed, rolling his eyes as he adjusted the strap.

“ Right. Let’s just get going. Cas and Bel are busy working on another temporary solution for this whole ghost force field thingy.” Dean flipped his keys as he began walking down the hallway. He was stopped short as he rounded the corner, almost bumping into a woman.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t see you there.” Dean apologized, reaching a hand out to help steady her. The woman let out a light chuckle, placing a hand over her chest.

“You are the second person Ive bumped into today.” She laughed, “ did that woman ever find you?” She asked, a slight tilt to her head. Deans eyebrows knitted together in confusion, turning to share the same look with Sam.

“What woman?” He questioned, taking a step closer. She shrugged her shoulders, looking at the two men.

“ Never got a name. Short choppy hair? Looked like she went ten rounds with a block of cement? She asked me where she could find you guys, had some questions apparently.” She finished. Dean looked to Sam, who only shrugged his shoulders.

“Doesn’t sounds like anyone we know. But thank you for telling us.” Dean nodded, letting the woman pass. Once she was out of earshot, The two brothers turned to each other. “Little weird, but okay.”

Dean shrugged his shoulders for what felt like the hundredth time before continuing his walk down the hallway towards the parking lot. For just a moment he let his mind wander. Could it have been you?

No. No it wasn’t you. You were dead and gone and he just had to accept that.

*. *. *. *.

You were pulled from your thoughts as a set of voices echoed through the parking lot as whoever was talking walked out the front doors of the school.

“I’m telling you Man, I feel like I keep seeing her everywhere I look. It’s like I’m being haunted.” Shit. That was Dean. You pulled your body out of the car, keeping low as you eased the door shut and locked it once more.

“Dean, Cas told you she was in Heaven. Her spirit isn’t here. You’re just grieving and it’s making your mind see things that aren’t there.” Sam countered, their voices growing closer.

“Whatever, lets just go figure out this ghost problem.”

You had been so invested in their conversation you had failed to move or look for a hiding place. You quickly whipped your head around, searching desperately for a place to go. Not having much choice, you threw yourself to the pavement, rolling underneath the SUV parked next to Baby.

You sucked in a breath as you watched a set of familiar boots walk by, stopping inches from where you lay. A little further away, another set could be seen. The massive shoes could only belong to one Sam Winchester. Dean on the other hand, well he was so close you could reach out and grab his ankle if you wanted to. But you didn’t. You lay quiet, listening to Dean flip through the keys in his hand. You rolled your eyes as the jingling continued.

It’s the square one Dean you quietly thought, rolling your eyes.

The faint click of the lock told you he had found it, and you smiled to yourself. Dean Winchester, ever the klutz. As the two slid into the car you could hear Sam start to speak up, only to be cut off by Dean.

“Okay, that’s a bit weird.” Dean paused. Even though you couldn’t see it, Dean was swirling his head around, looking at every inch of the cars interior. Sam let out a huff, looking at his brother.

“What?”

“Y/Ns flannel. I swear I left it right here. . .” Deans voice faded as he mentally questioned himself. He had kept it close ever since you died. It was the only thing that calmed him. The only thing that smelled like you. He wanted to smack himself. God, he sounded like a toddler who had lost his blankie.

“And what? You think someone broke into the Impala and stole it?” Sam mused, the faintest traces of a smile on his lips. Dean rolled his eyes, as he stuck his keys into the ignition.

“No!— of course not! That would be stupid. Plus, Baby was locked, just like I left her.” The slam of the door stopped you from hearing anymore of his words, the engine purring as Dean started the car.

Shifting further underneath the massive SUV you watched as Baby reversed out of her parking space, silently praying that neither brother would see you. You knew your plan had worked when the sound of the engine slowly faded. Once you knew you wouldn’t be spotted you rolled out of your hiding spot, popping up on your heels in the now empty parking spot.

You could see the glow of the tail lights as Dean stopped at the edge of the lot before turning right and heading off down the road, further into Town.

In that moment you should have taken your chance and run in the opposite direction, gotten a far away from everyone as possible. But it was like you were tethered to Dean, being pulled towards him with almost a magnetic like force. Billie had brought you back for a reason. She had given you a chance to see Dean again- you had to take it.

Your mind was made up then and there. You had to follow them.

It took you mere minutes to pick the lock of the nearest car and hot wire it, and then you were peeling out of the parking lot at a breathe taking speed and going in the direction you had seen Baby go.

Being so occupied, you failed to notice the figure in the rear view mirror watching as you left the parking lot. A figure in sunglasses that wore the body of one Jack Kline.

*. *. *. *.

You followed at a safe distance behind the Impala, taking all precautions to make sure you were not spotted. It was a good ten minutes before Baby came to a stop outside a classic looking suburban neighborhood. Quickly putting your own vehicle in reverse, you pulled back into the next street just enough to where you could safety watch them. Lucky for you, the sun had gone down and you kept your headlights off as you followed them. You had gone perfectly undetected since you left the school.

Your breath caught in your throat as you watched the doors of the Impala open, two figures stepping out into the street light. This was the first time you were really seeing them. Seeing Dean.

Even from a distance you could still see he was as handsome as ever. The outline of his face almost glowing in the light given off from the street lamp, his bow legs carrying him to the boot of the impala.

He carried himself differently though, it was easy to tell. His shoulders were more slumped, and his face had a broken look to it, even from far away. He looked tired. He looked sad.

You let out a sigh, resting your chin on the steering wheel as you watched them venture across the street. It broke your heart to see him this way— and yet you were to afraid to actually face him. His voice echoing in your head.

Was any of it real?

You could feel tears stinging your eyes as you took a deep inhale. Now was not the time. Your eyes followed the brothers as they crept into one of the vacant homes, sawed off shotguns raised and ready to fire. Your mind quickly shot back to what you had heard Dean say earlier. There was a ghost problem, right.

You quietly slid out of the hijacked vehicle, silently closing the door behind you. The neighborhood was a ghost town. Pun intended. And you needed to help. (preferably from the shadows, where no one would notice you.)

Your eyes fell on the House next to the one Sam and Dean had just entered, its garage door slightly open. Quickly racing across the street, you rolled underneath the partially open door and into the dark space. The only light coming from a plug in on the wall next to what could only be a work bench. The small light bathing the room in a vibrant blue.

Crossing over to the work bench you looked for anything that could help you defend yourself. Hammers, screwdrivers, multiple drills. None of these would work. There had to be something.

Spinning around you let your eyes wander across the space, until finally settling on a crowbar propped against the opposite wall. There it was. The perfect weapon for defense against ghosts. Pure iron and great for swinging .

Taking quick but light steps, you crossed the garage. Your fingers wrapping around the crowbar, it’s metal cool against the scrapes on your palms. You spun it in your hand, a smile on your face.

It was good to be back doing what your good at. It would be better though once you were back with your family.

Soon. You thought. Soon


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the reader fights to protect what she loves and Dean faces reality.

Suburban neighborhoods had always creeped you out. Ever since you were little. You had no idea why though. Maybe it was the creepy, perfect order to it all, or it was how fake everything looked. There was no uniqueness to them. All the yards were perfectly cut and watered, and each house looked almost identical to the one next to it. It was as plain and boring as it could get.

But when it was a suburban neighborhood filled with ghosts, well, that was a whole other situation. You had lost track of which houses Sam and Dean had entered, which was not good on your behalf since you were trying to steer clear of the brothers. Nerves were still getting the better of you, especially after what you had heard Dean say.

What if none of it was real?

Shaking your head, you tried to clear your thoughts. Early on you had decided against using a flashlight, afraid they might see the light if they were to pass by. This made it particularly hard to maneuver through the homes as you brandished the crowbar you had found.

The only source of light you had currently came from the appliances in the kitchen. The time on the microwave telling you it was almost midnight. You had been at it for a few good hours now.

You let out a sigh, using your free hand to rub at your face. You had been back on earth for a good 24 hours now. You were running on no sleep and you couldn’t exactly pin point the last time you actually ate something. You didn’t exactly have a need to eat when you were dead.

Your stomach letting out a rumble at the mere thought of food. It was loud enough to make you flinch, sucking in your stomach, afraid someone- or something might have heard it.

Moving deeper into the dark house, you let your eyes take in what they could. The cozy, familial feel of the home. Picture frames hung from the walls and children’s toys were still scattered about in the most random places. You almost tripped over a plastic plane as you rounded the corner. Quick reflexes helping you to avoid it.

Your mind went back to the whole ghost situation. You had literally been at it for hours and you still had yet to lay eyes on one single spirit. Maybe nothing was here. Maybe they had all left. Maybe the threat was gone.

It was like the universe was listening to your thoughts, seeing how skeptic you were. Seeing you question the whole situation in general, Because one minute you were fine and the next you were feeling the temperature around you plummet. Your breath coming out in a white cloud before you.

It was in that moment that you knew you were no longer alone.

Spinning on your heel as quickly as you could, you almost slammed into the massive figure that had materialized behind you. Before you could even raise the crowbar to swing, the figure was tossing you across the room with a flick of his wrist. You slammed into the kitchen cabinets with a harsh thud, hearing several boards splinter from the force.

A groan fell from your lips as you attempted to get back up. You could see the crowbar laying several feet away, while the ghostly figure of the man stalked towards you at a quick and steady pace. Mustering as much energy as you could, you army crawled your way across the floor boards, desperate to reach your only use of defense.

You knew you were in trouble the moment you felt a massive hand grab onto the collar of your flannel. You had no way of fighting back as the ghost pulled you up,and slammed your head down hard against the granite counter top. You let out a yell as you felt blood dripping down from your temple, some of it making its way into your eyes.

This was not going well. Not. At. All.

You were not going to die here. No way. Not by the hands of some pathetic ghost, and certainly not before you got the guts to face Dean.

That thought alone was enough to fuel you and send you rushing forward, pulling yourself out of the vice like grip of the ghost and diving across the floor. You rolled, quickly taking hold of the crowbar and bringing it arching over your head in one swift motion, splitting through the spirit like a hot knife through butter.

He would back, you didn’t know when, but you knew at some point he would be back.

Giving yourself a moment to catch your breath, you fell back onto your butt, inhaling deeply. You were out of practice. Damn.

Your eyes quickly surveyed your surroundings once more, making sure you were alone. (Which you were.) your body ached all over. The cut in your lip had definitely reopened in your tangle with the spirit, and having been thrown across the room full force did nothing to help either.

Taking a deep breath, you pushed yourself off the kitchen floor, using the crowbar as a sort of leverage to help get you to your feet. Unfortunately for you, the moment you put weight into your left foot a sharp pain shot up your leg, sending you forward and almost face planting into the floorboards.

Your exhaustion was getting the better of you as you rolled over onto your back, taking deep breaths in at an attempt to steady yourself. Dizziness. That was all that you felt. Hitting you in massive waves.

You were too tired. You no longer had the energy to move. The cool floor was welcoming enough for your weak body. Not having much choice, you let yourself fall back in unconsciousness.

*. *. *. *.

The sound of muffled voices pulled you back to reality, making you sit up with a gasp. Blinking away what little sleep you had gotten you could see it was still dark. The luminescent numbers on the microwave telling you it was almost three in the morning.

You jumped in surprise as a beam of light passed by the nearest window, the source only possible from a flashlight. Faint shadows passing along with it.

“Have we checked this house yet?” Deans distinct voice ringing out almost as clear as day, as his shadow passed by the front window, very near to where you lay.

“I don’t think so.” The only other possible voice being Sam’s, responded. You watched with a rolling stomach as the flash light beams passed by the next window over as the brothers worked their way towards the front door. The sound of a doorknob clicking told you that they were entering the house and that you either had two choices to choose from.

You could stay here and have them find you sprawled out on the kitchen floor, battered and bruised or- you could attempt to make a run for it. The same nerves bubbling up inside you. Why were you so afraid to see them? Hell, you found yourself less frightened by the spirits at this point.

Your mind had never been more conflicted as your heart raced at what felt like a thousand beats a minute. You so badly wanted to be near them again, but at the same time you wanted to be as far away as possible.

"What if none of it was real?" Deans voice echoing in your head again. You didn’t want your heart to be broken. You couldn’t even bear the thought of it.

The sounds of footsteps closing in slowly on where you lay had you making up your mind quickly.

Pushing yourself up from the floor, you ignored the searing pain in your leg and did the most rational thing a person could do in this scenario:

You dove out the nearest window.

Glass shattered around you, cutting into your skin as you tumbled across the front lawn. Damp grass giving a slight relief to the many cuts and aches of your body.

“What the hell was that?!” A voice boomed from inside the house,flashlight beams crossing over where you had just been, followed by the sound of heavy footsteps racing through the house.

The last thing you were thinking about was the pain as you stood up quickly, taking off down the street. Stupid nerves, getting the better of you.

Behind you, you could hear the front door being kicked open and the sound of shotguns being cocked. When you saw the beam of a flashlight cross over you, you knew they had spotted you, luckily you had made it a great deal down the street.

“Stop right there!” Deans voice echoed down the road, making you skid to a stop. You were on the verge of hyperventilating as you stood frozen on the spot, too afraid to turn around and face them. “Who are you?” His voice calling out again.

Right, they didn’t recognize you. At least not from the back. You had chopped off most of your hair and you were littered with cuts and bruises.

Feeling tears burning in the corners of your eyes, you gave in. You couldn’t help it. As terrified as you were, Dean always had a way of reeling you in. Slowly turning, you let the street lamp near by illuminate your face.

Nothing could have ever prepared either brother for what they saw, especially Dean. Even if you were yards away Dean knew it was you. He swore his heart stopped in his chest as your eyes locked with his jade ones.

It was you. You were standing there, alive and breathing with a choppy hair cut and looking like you had just gotten into a fight with a brick wall, blood still dripping down your temple. The flannel that was usually tucked away in Baby draped across your figure.

It was like the world was holding its breath, no one saying a single word. Both brothers trying to comprehend how you were standing there in front of them. You watched as they lowered their shotguns in unison with wide, confused eyes.

“Y/N?” Dean breathed out quietly, almost like a whisper. Tears were pooling in his eyelids as his face shifted into utter confusion. A mixture of shock in there as well. Maybe even a little sadness.

The magnetic force you kept feeling came back the moment your eyes settled on Dean. The shotgun in Deans palm slipping from his grip, clattering to the pavement, and breaking the heavy silence. He ignored it though, taking another hesitant step forward.

His name left your lips in a choked sob as you attempted to rush forward, the pain in your foot turning your run into more of a rapid limp. It didn’t even take a second to send Dean into a mad sprint towards you. In that moment you really didn’t care about the fear that had been wrapping itself around you, seeing Dean was enough to break that heavy feeling.

The yards between you felt like miles as you closed the distance, tears blurring your vision as you reached him.

You collided with him roughly, reaching out to grab onto his jacket, his shoulders, anything to make sure he was real, that he wasn’t an illusion. His arms reaching out to catch you as you fell forward into his chest.

You clung to him like he was a lifeline. Your knees giving out as you and Dean sunk to the pavement in an awkward and vital embrace.

The moment Dean had the chance, he was placing his hands on the sides of your face, gently cradling it as he took you in with wide and confused eyes. “Oh my god, how? How?.” He breathed heavily, his words coming out like a broken record as he failed to find other words. You weren’t a ghost. You were here. Flesh and all.

It was there, in the early morning hours underneath the dim street light that you allowed yourself to break down. You let the tears flow freely as you sobbed, Dean not hesitating to thumb away the tears and pull you into him. He needed you to be okay.

“How are you here?” He whispered into your hair, a hand going up to cradle the back of your head.

“Billie. It’s a long story.” You mumbled back, breathing in his scent. He still smelled like cinnamon and leather, and it helped calm your rapidly beating heart. The two of you stayed like that for another minute, neither of you brave enough to move.

But finally you did, pulling back to look into his jade eyes. He was looking at you like you had hung the stars themselves, and it made your heart melt. Dean Winchester never showed this much emotion. Never. And you realized that his feelings for you were stronger than you could even understand.

You raised your hands shakily, placing your palms on either side of his face, still crying. You needed him to know that you were okay, that your death wasn’t his fault.

“I’m so sorry Y/N.” He choked, going to cup your cheek with a calloused hand, in which you gratefully leaned into. His eyes never breaking away from your face.

You still had the same y/e/c eyes and adorable nose. but he felt himself break at the other sights. Blood was still dripping from your temple, and your black eye had gotten worse. Your tongue slightly running over your busted lip.

“Please don’t be.” You cried, the two of you being the only forces holding each other upright, afraid that if you pulled away that the other would disappear.

“I missed you so much.” Deans voice quaked as he looked deeper into your eyes. You let out another sob before letting yourself give in. It was like your brains were on the same track as you both leaned in closer, connecting your lips in a searing hot kiss.

There weren’t words to properly do it justice. It was as if you were taking your first real breathe of air since coming back. It set the nerves in both of your bodies on fire as you dove deeper into the kiss, lips molding together perfectly. It was deep and gentle at the same time, Dean afraid that he might hurt you due to the busted lip, but you didn’t care.

You were breathing life back into each other with that kiss, and nothing- not even God could change that.

It took a great amount of strength for the two of you to break, Dean taking you in again. “ I should have told you years ago-“ he began with a sigh, you watched him close his eyes, head hanging in defeat as he shook it. “I was such an idiot.”

Pulling his face up to look at you, it was your turn to wipe away the stray tears.” I think we both had equal parts to play Dean. Don’t blame yourself.” You pulled him into another hug, resting your chin on his shoulder. Your eyes widened when you saw the massive figure of his brother pushing himself out of his still frozen state and moving towards you.

“I’m gonna be completely honest with you when I say I forgot Sam was here.” You mumbled lightly into his shoulder. You heard Dean lightly chuckle, the vibrations tickling your neck as he held you tighter.

You were home. You were home.


End file.
